Well what would this mean... "BETTER LATE THEN NEVER", you could think that. In my situation it's a very important thing in my life at the moment. The last few weeks there's a feeling, a feeling that has apeared several times in the past, that I have to make the choice how to reach my goal of how to make my hobby my work. In the time when I gratuated from the CIBAP in Zwolle (the Netherlands) I had the chance to go to an art academy or design collage. I didn't take the chance at all, but instead made the choice to figure out what I realy wanted to do with my life while taking a job as an orderpicker at a big company in Zutphen. One of the reasons why I did take that step was because I have had it with the education at the CIBAP and creativity in the way it apeared to me in that time. During the time at the CIBAP I truely was disappointed about the way they've had teached us how to work as a graphic designer or interior designer.All the time I was longing for a higher level, a level that would drive me to become better.
If you wanted to be in this school everyone had to participate in an entrance exam, the level of this exam was very high what made me feel to have chosen the perfect education for me. It was the second time that I've had entered. The first time was 2 years earlier with the result that I didn't make it. The second time went well and I've got the result by mail that I was chosen to be one of there new students. When the education started, one of the first assignments that we got to do was of a very low level, much lower then the entrance exam had showed us. I was hoping that the level of education would be better that year... but to my surprise it didn't. In the first year on the 5th of november of 1995 my father past away on the age of 57. School had just started for a few month and because I did'nt want to fail, I made the decision to just go on and not take it slow. It didn't make it easier but I never wanted to fail. I must say that during the four years on the CIBAP I've had a great time with my classmates. It was a great time!!! After the first two disappointing years of the education came the third year. In this year we had to do two internships of 5 months at two differend companies. The two companies where I fullfilled them where a letterings company called Rapitext and an advertising and marketing company called PRO6. At Rapitext they gave me the position of graphic designer, the minor part of this was that they didn't had any graphic designer at the company so there was no one who could help me in developing my design process. The internship at PRO6 was a much better experience, during that period there where some assignment that gave me the chance to learn and experience the design process. In some way it gave me the feeling of giving there graphic designers someone to compeed with. The result was that there could be a better design for the customer. In the last year of the study the level of work was where I've had hoped it to be in the second year. In 1999 I reached my goal of getting my degree for interiour designer. At this point I'm back from where I've started this blog. Which way did I have to go...
As I allready wrote I didn't choose to take the step to a higher education... after working 5 months as an orderpicker I wanted to do something else. At that time I still didn't know in which direction I wanted to go with my creativity. My sister asked me if I had some interest in working at Budget rent a Car. At that moment she was working at the company. I chose to take the chance and on the 25th of October 1999 I began as an hiker at Budget rent a Car in Arnhem (the Netherlands). A new world opend up for me, got to learn to know new people, another city and I saw it as an opportunity to learn more about cars in away that they drive, feel and work. In that time it has changed my thinking of what a car should be like. Before I allways would choose a car on its design, but within a year my thoughts were changed forever. The technique is the most important of all. Because if you make a car that is the most beautiful of all, if the technique is bad and the car drives horable then the car becomes straight ugly. Allthough my interest in the cars driveability became bigger I was always drawing cars where ever I could. Allthough I find the technique of the car most important to make a good car, my heart still desires more to design a beautiful vehicle.
Another point of me was that I "hated" computers in that time, not realising that it would change at this speed with all the possibilities it gives us now a days. That is also one of the reasons why I never tried to learn a 3D programe such as Rhino or Blender. Don't ask me why I was so stubborn, I don't think I can anwser that question. Or maybe I could... Someone said to me ones "most people aren't affraid to be weak, most are affraid to be strong"... these words are from a speach that Nelson Mandela ones gave. And maybe this is the reason why I don't want to learn all these things to become the one I want to be, maybe I'm affraid of being strong, to fullfill my dream and affraid of the things that will come to me on this path to be walked... to take the opportunity to see what I want to see...
That is why the words "BETTER LATE THEN NEVER" are so important to me, so I dare to take the steps allthough fear is sometimes in my way. The reason to learn the programe and step forward and don't fear of what it could bring and realise it is not the goal that is important but the road that I walk....
With kind regards,
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